Amazing

People intrigue me. Mary and I were talking about this last night. The ponderings of what the drivers are thinking and feeling on the road. I love sitting and watching people in an airport terminal or a mall. I also enjoy sitting in the hallway prior to class - watching, and in this case, listening to the people around me.

There are several people that I think I would be friends with if I had actually been a student here in the capacity that they all are. They are nursing majors (soon to switch out), pre-dental, and pre-med students. I fall under the category of a 'gen ed' student in the course, but I would shirk at being clumped in the categories that those around me are.

The attitude and demeanor of the people around me drive me nuts sometimes. But then it leads me to wonder what happened in their lives to make them so angry at the world or so uptight. In a lot of cases, the answer is simple - they are freshmen.

I get that. I was there. I thought I knew everything. In some ways I still unfortunately fall into that category. I try very hard to understand those around me and to respect the decisions of those smarter than me and with more knowledge and wisdom than I. More often than not though, it's the younger generations that I want to shake.

But then I have to remember... I was there myself. Life is amazing. People are amazing. And despite my constant frustration with human-kind.... I'm amazed.

The Holidays

Well it's officially upon us. Stores are blasting Christmas tunes, trying to get you to come in for THEIR product, their special offer, their item that will ultimately make your life better and more fulfilled by giving this item or receiving it this season. Lights are starting to go up around the apartment complex ringing in the start of the period of time that is acceptable for displaying the gaudy exhibits of tradition.

As this time in my life is quickly flying by, I'm bracing for the Holidays. I inherited my desire for tradition and stability and true love of this season from my father. A few years back when certain traditions began to change, he and I both would get very bummed out, almost depressed even that we weren't partaking of the same laughter and foods and family and friends that we used to.

Now as I age and plan on adding in a whole other family to celebrate, I find myself drawing away from excitement from the Holidays. It's nothing against the new family that I'm joining. I think they're great. I'm excited to get to know them even further. On the flip side though, I'm having to face leaving a lot of the traditions behind in my family. And for some reason I think I'm taking it harder than most.

It's resorting to bartering between which family celebration is more important than another, or more in depth than another - which is more worth our time and which is no longer a priority. I don't like it. But it's all part of getting married, right? Blending of families. Creating new traditions. Finding that balance that will work in the future? I'm sure it will take a few years to get the kinks worked out, but I must say... I'd much rather skip over these next few years. I'm not looking forward to the holidays for quite some time...

my home

I have been pondering home lately.

What it means, where it is...

I ran to Evansville this weekend. Like - literally. Within an hour of getting home from work, it was decided that I was homesick and needed to come. I spent all day Saturday with a couple of my best female friends. Oh how I long for that again.

I miss the organic nature of my relationships on campus. I miss running across campus to take care of someone in the wee hours of the night. I miss having people constantly around me to remind me to breathe, to relax, to take time out to play a video game or get a cup of coffee. I miss the countless number of people who would drop everything to pray and study the Bible with me.

I'm tired of a lack of a support system. I'm ready to go home. Where ever that may be. Somewhere where I can put a few roots down and make a couple of friends that are all my own. A body of believers to pray for me and support me through the hard times. A place that I can contribute and use my talents to the fullest of my abilities.

That place is my home. Where ever that is - Atlanta or Lexington with Jim. That's where I want to be.

my car smells like french fries

I'm tired of my car smelling like french fries.

In some ways, I'm completely terrified this sedentary lifestyle and spending more time in the car than I do waking hours at home is going to drive me to unhealthy ruin and obesity.

I haven't gained much weight since I've lived in Nashvegas or anything. But the constant smell of french fries is enough to make me go crazy. I don't even LIKE french fries that much. They are really a "take 'em or leave 'em" food for me. But you can eat them on the go!

It's like America's miracle food - perfectly designed for the drive.

I'm craving a slab of meat that hasn't been processed, yet grilled to perfection, lightly steamed veggies, homemade rolls, and salad... Oh how I want a salad...

Friendships, Laughter, & Joy

Part of the Water Cooler Wednesday crew - click HERE to go to the main page for WCW.

I think these three things get overlooked a lot of times in our lives: friendships, laughter and joy. Not that they get overlooked - more like, they are taken for granted so often.

I didn't realize how much friendships can make or break a person. I'm a relatively outgoing person who can make friends easily. This is mainly because of my take-charge attitude that requires me to organize events and outings, socials and game nights. Lately solid, deep friendships have been lacking. I moved to a bigger city than which I started (though, I daren't say Nashville is a huge city). I have one friend that I brought with me. My work companions are quite possibly the best colleauges to work with. But at the end of the day, I need some time alone. I need to recoup and rest. There is literally no time for deep friendships. Even if there WERE time, I'm moving in May. Is it worth the hassle of getting deep, and then having those people torn from our hearts?

People long for community, belonging, genuine laughter and a sense of joy that runs through all of that. It is an out-flowing of true community. It may be because I haven't been able to effectively get plugged into a church. I attend on occasion, but most weeks I'm gone. God and I have our one-on-one time, but where is the community that brings so much life into a person?

At one point in my life, I heard a person boldly make the statement that they didn't need to go to church to be a Christian - that they could worship and do their own thing, and that it was between them and God.

After trying to make a go at that kind of lifestyle, I'm learning why that statement made me cringe so much. "Going to church" isn't all about what we can personally take away from a worship experience from God. Yes, I believe that we can have great moments with God in a "worship session" or from a sermon. But I would venture to say that it's even more the relationships we build with people, giving and taking of talents, trading of stories - and laughing together.

I love laughing. Laughing is a bubbling up of the joy that is deeply rooted within my heart. Sometimes the best way to get through a situation, God has given me laughter. It's hard to laugh by yourself though.

I'm currently in the midst of reading a book called "Pagan Christianity". George Barna and Frank Viola look at the early church and how we got to where we are - and how much of that is rooted in pagan tradition. They don't recommend that it's necessarily WRONG, but they do challenge that maybe there's an even BETTER way to experience God and to see Him move. And it's through the community and the togetherness that the early church had.

I'm seeing more and more of this in my life. Churches stepping away from the tradition and liturgy that has binded them so tightly that they have no room to move. I'm hearing stories and reports like that from Alli Rogers' Blog (see here). It makes me happy. It makes me long to be in the midst of that kind of community and that kind of worship.

I dare you to watch this whole video without laughing: