What a Wonderful World

I see trees of green, red roses too.
I see em bloom, for me and you.
And I think to myself, what a wonderful world.

I see skies of blue, clouds of white.
Bright blessed days, dark sacred nights.
And I think to myself, what a wonderful world.

A breath of fresh air

So it's been an odd couple days of cooler temperatures, but I'm certainly not going to complain. I've been enjoying having the windows open and feeling the fresh air on my face. Mmm...

So I must say that I can't believe May is already near over. It means that I've been married now for over a month. It means that I've gone almost a month and a half without working. It means our resources are going to run out sooner than later. It means I'm getting restless.

I never thought I'd miss going to work everyday... Yet I am finding myself craving routine. And craving an environment of my very own here in Lexington. I don't just want to sit by the wayside any longer... I want to be "actively doing" life instead of wasting away in my third floor apartment, watching the world go by.

I'm sure there's a Greek or Hebrew word that describes what I long for. Sometimes I wish I spoke them. I always got a little more excited when I realized how much we miss out on scripture and how much more there is to learn if we could embrace the FULL meanings of the words that were originally used... But I digress...

Maybe I should take to studying Greek and/or Hebrew... Does that make me a weirdo? So what if it does... Well I'm going to end this little rant with a quote that I found today. I pray that my life begins to look like this:

"The master in the art of living makes little distinction between his work and his play, his labor and his leisure, his mind and his body, his information and his recreation, his love and his religion. He hardly knows which is which. He simply pursues his vision of excellence at whatever he does, leaving others to decide whether he is working or playing. To him he’s always doing both.”
— James A. Michener

this is the place, this is the moment.

So I'm finally "home". It's still a bit odd to be in Lexington and consider it home. Just never a place that I thought I'd end up. Though, I must say, it's good to be here. The apartment is starting to look like a place that has been lived in. Curtains are going up and hopefully wall hangings soon. There are still returns sitting in the back bedroom, but I'm sure we'll get to them soon.

Today is also the first day that I've been away from Jim for any length of time since we got married. It's been great, but I must say it's nice to be alone for a few moments. I'm excited for him to come home this evening and share a meal together. I'm cooking one of my favorite dishes of my mom's. I'm even thinking about cleaning off the deck and eating out on the patio this evening. It looks like a perfect evening for it.

The job search is still on. There was a job that I found that was ABSOLUTELY everything I wanted in a job. Unfortunately, they didn't hire anyone - just did some internal shifting to fill the position. I was incredibly disappointed, however that just means there's something out there that's a better fit for everyone involved right now. I just have to find it. I'm anxious to do so.

Well there is much to be done around the house, so I should hop to it before Jim gets home. I kind of rather like this whole house-wife thing. I wish it could last. Maybe someday.

Wedding Countdown - 1 day!

So it's a rare thing to find a bit of solace in the day of a rehearsal dinner - let alone your own! I'm sitting in the soundbooth at church listening to the hushed sounds of the daycare kids playing in the rooms behind me, the musicians talking back and forth, and the calm music of a piano and violin fading in and out in the background...

It's a beautiful moment.

I'm so calm and so at peace and so overwhelmed with my Savior. He has loved me so diligently and brought me here so fully. I'm so in awe at everything around me. I'm so blessed. I never thought I'd get teary eyed or overwhelmed with emotion at my wedding. I'm really afraid I might...

Jim is.. absolutely the compliment that I need. He keeps me sane, he makes me laugh, we work well together, and we love together. Truly it overwhelms me.

Now I must go get showered and changed and all that jazz for the rehearsal tonight. :) It's so CLOSE. I'm so EXCITED. I'm about to be a WIFE.

So Blessed...

So I should either be sleeping or packing - and I find myself doing neither. Naturally.

Tomorrow I was planning on going home after work, but part of me thinks I should stay here, pack, relax and take my time getting up there. Mom and Ashton both don't have the day off on Friday, so I'd rush up there to get there... AFTER Ash was in bed, and then see everyone when they got home from work or school. So, without the rushing and the extra evening, I could do the same thing by driving up on Friday morning. This is a minor rambling and no way really related to why I signed on to blogger...

I sit here in the dark with "my" laptop. I use quotes because it's quickly going to become someone else's early next week. We have begun the process of switching over and moving me out. Tomorrow I'm going to begin moving out of my desk. I don't like this. I don't like it one bit.

Leaving behind my job seemed like an easy task at the beginning of June when Jim and I first started talking about getting married. That's because I barely knew the people I worked with. I barely knew how much they would enter my life and fill it up. I restrained from making a lot of real friends in Nashville because I didn't want the heartache of having to say goodbye. But... I think I failed at that goal.

I sit here thinking about having to pack up my desk, hand over my computer and say goodbye to my friends, my colleagues and tears start finding their way into my eyes. Though Nashville never fully became the home I had expected it to be, it was probably more than I could have ever hoped for.

I didn't become some big tour manager on the road week in and week out. I didn't become some flashy artist manager with tons of cash and pull with the rich and famous. What I did was create a niche for myself. I found people and I learned how to work as a team, yet retain my individuality. I learned to stand up for what I believe in, and know my place and respect decisions of others. I learned a ton. I by no means know everything in the world - I probably know less now than I did a year ago. But with wisdom comes the knowledge that we don't know everything.

As much as it pains me to walk away, I'm ridiculously excited to see where life takes me. Jim has been officially accepted to Asbury Seminary, our apartment has been officially finalized, and I'm interviewing at several different places. I know that God is sovereign and He knows the best for me. He brought me to this place and now He takes me from this place. I'm excited to see where the road leads.

So many things have been whispering to me that I'm right where God wants me... It's a beautiful thing. Amidst all the chaos there's a peace that runs like a river through it all. Such a wonderful feeling.

Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but somehow there's peace
It's hard to surrender to what I can't see
but I'm giving in to something Heavenly (Sanctus Real)

Needless to say - I never thought I'd be here feeling this way tonight. In the end, I'm so blessed. And grateful for every moment.