Have you ever had the feeling of belonging, yet not? It's the weirdest catch-22 that I have found to date.

This is home. This is right. This is real. I love the people. I love my job. I love everything that is Nashville.

But part of me longs for another time and place.

Sometimes it's places in the past. Tonight I was driving up to the apartment and the crickets were singing and the coolness had just finally set in. That's when I felt it... Softball season. Tuesday nights. Mmm... Hanging out with the church guys and a couple gals that would trek out to the games. Laughing, cheering, eating way too many sweets... Those were the days. Good talks were made there. I remember one in particular where I was talking with Pastor Chris about the culture shock we were both experiencing after just having been in Nicaragua. It was a good talk. I miss having moments like that.

Sometimes, though, it's places in the future. I have no idea where I'm headed. My heart knows that it's not here forever. Nashville is not the permanent home that I thought it was... I know that deep down. Just how long I'll be here? Who knows. That one's for God to decide.

I feel as though I'm trapped in this purgatory of sorts. Not in the days that used to define who I was and not in the days of who I'm becoming. I am just... here. I'm learning to love every moment - the good, the bad, the ugly. The moments that I never want to leave behind, and the moments that I wish I never had to see.

I think I'm just being weird, and extra meditative tonight for some reason. So, I'll quit rambling on here.


All my time is froze in motion
Can't I stay an hour or two or more
Don't let me let you go
Here's a toast to all those who hear me all too well

Here's to the nights we felt alive
Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry
Here's to goodbye
Tomorrow's gonna come too soon